On twenty-one.

This is somewhat of a tradition for me now, across all of my blogs, so I present to you...

twenty-one things learned by the age of twenty-one || a list:

1. Learning how to wait for things is a life skill. It can be the worst thing in the world when it's happening, but when you start getting close to getting something important that you want and know that it's almost within your grasp? It's the best feeling in the world, even if it brings restlessness with it too.
2. Making carefully curated playlists for specific moods when you have over 3400 songs on your phone takes a really, really long time.
3. Sometimes you're going to become uncomfortably aware of your own mortality, and that's all right. It's okay to be conscious of the fact that you aren't invincible. If anything, it can teach you to be more deliberate with your choices (or to stop worrying so much about what's coming and just let things happen. It takes all kinds of people).
4. There will be people in this world whose importance will not become clear immediately, but you'll figure it out eventually. It becomes really hard to ignore if you can live with them for a year and still actively seek out their company when that year is over.
5. Some songs are always going to remind you of specific people, but one day you'll be able to listen to them without it bringing more discomfort than it does peace. There's something oddly comforting about being able to put a song on a playlist without overthinking its significance.
6. Say you're sorry, even if it takes a while. Clearing the air with someone, whether it takes months or years, makes everything easier.
7. Don't set impossibly high standards for yourself, and if you absolutely insist on doing it anyway, don't wreck yourself trying to meet them. Sometimes you just need to finish the paper and shut off your computer and go to sleep rather than staying up all night worrying about it. As one of my professors told us this spring, "Complete is more important than perfect."
8. Long-distance friendships suck, but if you find someone who makes a five-hour round-trip negligible just for the pleasure of their company, they will quite possibly be the best person you know and you'll learn to deal with not seeing them every day (Social media can be a truly wonderful thing).
9. Let people change. Let them become something other than what they are in your mind, what they were when you knew them. Some people will come back to you and some people won't, but if you're going to expect people to let you grow, you have to do the same for them.
10. Learn to say no, even if you know that you're the most capable person for a particular job. There comes a point where you've got enough on your plate and picking up the slack is up to other people on your team. If they aren't willing to do it, let it go. It's not fair for them to expect you to work yourself to the point of physical illness just because they refuse to act on their responsibilities.
11. Conversely, if you like the people that you're working with, even the most mundane and tenuous tasks will become easier. There's something to be said for working in an office where people will spontaneously start singing songs from High School Musical on a Thursday morning just because someone asked "What time is it?"
12. It's okay to be afraid of things. It's okay if they're little things, and it's okay if they're big things. What matters is whether or not you allow your fear to stop you from moving forward and trying anyway.
13. Saying goodbye can be the worst, most impossible thing, but goodbye doesn't mean it's over. Goodbye isn't always the end. Sometimes it's just until we meet again.
14. You don't have to do things just because everyone else is doing them, and you don't have to justify it either. Make the choices that are right for you, and if people can't get past the fact that you aren't doing what they do, they aren't people that you need in your life.
15. Sometimes you just have to roll your windows down and blast your music and drive. It may not actually take you away from your problems, but that feeling of freedom can be enough to carry you through more than you might think.
16. If you have relentless enthusiasm for something, that's more than enough to carry you through the stages of not being terribly good at it. It takes time to be successful at things. Loving them makes the bad stuff at the beginning (and along the way) seem less terrible.
17. Hard work doesn't fix everything. It's not some cure-all. It doesn't guarantee you anything. What it does is arm you with the tools to change things if you're smart enough to take advantage of the opportunities that are presented to you, or to create those opportunities for yourself if they don't come your way.
18. It might seem like it's never going to happen, but one day you'll grow into yourself. It might take twenty years for it to happen, but it will, and it's going to be a beautiful thing when it does.
19. Old hurts come back. You can think that you're over something, that you're past it, but it will come back to haunt you every now and then. Being better isn't about never feeling those things again. It's about knowing that you'll get through it when you do.
20. You have to listen to yourself. You have to listen when you feel tired, when you feel weak, when something just feels wrong even though everything in life seems to be going perfectly. Gut feelings are there for a reason and you'll do yourself so many more favors if you pay attention to what your body and your mind are telling you, even if those messages aren't entirely understandable at first. You aren't any good to anyone, yourself included, if you're too tired and too overworked to get anything done.
21. Sometimes it's the unexpected people who stick around. Don't try to tell yourself who you will or won't be friends with after a period of your life is over, because you'll probably be wrong and there's a lot to be said for doing the adult thing and meeting up with an old friend for dinner after work. There's a lot to be said for people who knew you in the before as well as the after (and if you still like each other after you've grown out of your shared awkward years, they're definitely worth keeping around).

Until next time x